That Brightly Dressed Man Has Ruined the Sanctity of the Super Bowl

"Oh crap...one of my high heels is caught in the turf."

Morality watchdogs have found another target for their outrage in the Super Bowl halftime show performed last weekend by Prince. Apparently, more than a few people have taken umbrage with Prince's silhouetted guitar solo during "Purple Rain," saying that his shadowed instrument (hee hee) is a blatant phallic symbol.

My response..."Yeah...and?"

"No, no Doc, the Cialis is working just fine,
I just have a question about this growth underneath my penis."

Listen, it's entirely possible that the whole thing was unintentional and this was just another case of something looking sexual when it wasn't meant to be. On the other hand, we're dealing with Prince here. I'm guessing he probably knew what he was doing. And if he did do this on purpose, should we be surprised?

This just in...Prince does something sexually provocative.
In other news, the sky is blue.

Prince is a phenomenal musician. Sure he's a little weird, but if you're looking for some high energy music to keep a crowd interested during halftime, he's a pretty good choice. But the guy just oozes sex. He performed five songs during the halftime show, and three of them were covers. Why? Because all of his songs are about fucking!! You know what you're getting into when you hire Prince. Fun, sexy music, and a 50-50 chance of seeing simulated sex acts on stage. If that's not what you're into, then don't hire Prince. A "shadow penis" is so low on the scale of things The Artist could have pulled out (hee hee) that CBS, the NFL, and every morally righteous whack-a-doo out there should thank their lucky stars.

NASA: Sending Crazy People into Space Since 1958

"Houston, we have a psycho."

I've been racking my brain all day for an appropriate way to present this story and can't come up with one. For some reason I can't wrap my head around it. It's not that someone smart and dedicated enough to become an astronaut and actually fly in space was so messed up by "love" that they would try to kill someone over it, and it's not that this is the second time since the new year that someone has gone to "extreme" lengths to eliminate the competition in a love triangle (check out the other instance here). I think the thing about this story that bothers me the most is that this woman was so focused on killing her rival, that she resorted to wearing diapers during her 900+ mile car ride between Houston and Orlando to limit the number of stops she'd have to make on the way. I don't know if I should be horrified or impressed. I've never been that determined about anything.

Depends
The adult undergarment of choice
for 9 out of 10 crazy astronauts.

There's not much more that I can add to that, so instead I'll just leave you with my favorite movie quote about astronauts, those brave men and women who traverse the starry skies, boldly going where no man has gone before:

"Your mother was an astronaut"
"My mother was too drunk to be an astronaut."