If man were meant to jump out of an airplane...

god would have pushed him.

"I immediately regret this decision!"

Now, I'm no expert in skydiving, never having jumped out of an airplane myself, but I have always thought that the sport was a pretty stupid way to get a rush, especially when much safer alternatives exist. You know, like smoking crack. I never really saw the attraction to trusting you life to a piece of fabric with some rope attached to it. Well apparently, skydiving mishaps are pretty rare, especially amongst experienced jumpers, but there's always room for an "accident".

This story, out of England, involves a love triangle, a sabotaged parachute, and a woman plunging 12,000 ft. to her death. Apparently, three skydivers, one male, two female, made a jump together about two months ago. The male, named Marcel, was romantically involved with female #1 (named Els) but was seeing female #2 (also named Els...I guess that helps avoid awkward boudoir situations) behind female #1's back. Having found out the situation, Els #1 didn't let on, but instead tampered with Els #2's parachute before their jump, causing it to fail, sending it Els #2 to her death. A two-month investigation followed, and Els #1 was arrested last week. In addition to this, the suspected Els (not the dead one) had been previously arrested for trying to run over a boyfriend she suspected of cheating. She wasn't charged.

"I won't be ignored!
Hey...wanna go jump out of a plane?"

This is clearly a unique situation. One involving a person with both anger issues and mental problems (and poor taste in men, apparently). But it opens up a can of worms. Why even put yourself in a high-risk situation like that? Now I'm no adulterer (you hear that sweetie?), but I have been known, on occasion, to piss off a person or two. Hopefully not enough to inspire murder, but one never knows. You can never be too careful. And that's why I'm going to continue to avoid skydiving. You never know when you might be jumping with an enemy. A car speeding at me, I might have a chance to dodge, but you have no where to go when it's the earth that's speeding at you.