100% Kick ASS!

Hell YEAH!
Word to the motherland.

Of course you know Levy, this means war!

Thanks for the plug Levy...you're a sweet-heart.

Unfortunately, all of my really good pictures of you were taken pre-digital camera, so this will have to do for now. But lucky for you I have a scanner at home, and I am quite adept at Photoshoping.

Prepare to get served.

What really bothers me about cell phones

It isn't the ringing in restaurants, or the fact that I have an even harder time finding excuses not to answer my phone or call people back, or that they've spawned the newest Stephen King novel, Cell, where cell phones basically turn people in to zombies (no I'm not kidding), it's that they've basically made the pay phone obsolete, and in turn, destroyed the need for collect calls.

On the surface, that might seem insignificant, but once you think about it, you'll realize what that really means, which is no more "10-10-220" and no more "10-10-220" commercials. It's been a while since these have aired, and most people have forgotten them, but where else on earth can we find the sublime perfection that is the pairing of Hulk Hogan and Alf. Those two alone should have been able to keep the collect calling industry afloat. If they couldn't do it, no one could. That, my friends, is what you call a tragedy.

That whole kite in a lighting storm thing is starting to make more sense...

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
- Benjamin Franklin


"There's a fine line between genius and drunkenness."
- Me

Gaze upon the majesty that is my family crest

How could you ever doubt the family Riley is not badass. There's a severed hand in the middle of our crest...A SEVERED HAND.

There is a story behind it. Here's the short version, at least as it's been told to me.

At some point in Ireland's history there was a boat race to determine ownership/rule of Irish land. The winner would be the first to touch land, and they would be given their choice of the countryside. During the race, one of the two competitors realized they were falling behind. Rather than lose the race, the competitor, a Riley, cut off his own hand and threw it to shore, allowing him to touch land first. He was declared the winner, and the rest is history.

Who knows if the story is accurate, or if my version is even the correct telling, but it's a pretty cool nonetheless.

See you in a month hon...

Guess what I'm picking up today...

That should hold me over until opening day. Too bad I have to throw the box out. Damn you Ortiz!!!

Overheard in the office

"No self-respecting terrorist would hijack a plane from New Jersey"
-The annoying girl who sits in the cube across from me, on the phone with a friend who was nervous about flying.

PHEW!
Guess I'll be flying out of Newark from now on.