Killed Him a Bear When He was Only...Five

"Oh...you killed a bear when you were five? Oh that's nice...no really, you should be proud of yourself.
I mean, I did it at three, but five is good too. Great job sport."

This story broke a couple of days ago. For those of you too lazy to click the link, the short version is that a five year old recently shot and killed a 445-pound bear while hunting with his grandfather. What makes this story a stand-out though, is that the kid is the great x 10 grandson, of Davy Crockett. You know, the "King of the Wild Frontier" Davy Crockett who "killed him a bear when he was only three." When I first saw this story, I thought it was pretty cool, because I was focused on the Davy Crockett part. Who doesn't remember that song. I certainly do...I even had my own coon-skin cap. I knew he was real person, but he almost took on a mythical status. Being related to him would almost be like being related to Paul Bunyan or something. So I thought that he's got a whole line of relatives out there was kind of cool.

But then I started to think about this story a little bit, and the absurdity of it smacked me in the head. It was a five-year-old that killed this bear, which means a FIVE YEAR OLD was out shooting a rifle. WHAT THE F#$K!?!?!

Listen...I get the whole argument behind hunting. I don't agree with it, but I understand the argument...especially the ones made by hunters who actually eat what they kill, but why in god's name does a five year old need to go hunting? Have you talked to any five-year-old kids lately? Chances are he or she thinks Dora the Explorer is a real person. Is that someone you'd like to have handling a deadly weapon?