I love the Gateway Grizzlies

A while back, I posted about an Minor League baseball team based in Sauget, Illinois called, the Gateway Grizzlies. It seems some genius in their stadium kitchen decided to challenge the gods and created, what had been, until now, the most remarkable culinary achievement in the history of food. The Krispy Kreme Burger. You can read my original post about it here.

Well I guess the Grizzlies are finished admiring their former masterpiece, because it looks like they may have created something to challenge it for top spot at the concession stand. Behold...Baseball's Best Hot Pretzel!


This marvelous creation is a J&J Snack Foods SUPERPRETZEL marinated in Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wing Sauce, served with mozzarella cheese melted over the top of of it and is served with your choice of ranch or blue cheese dressing. I find myself unable to speak. Bless you Gateway Grizzles....bless you.

***UPDATE***

If your read the press release for the Baseball's Best Hot Pretzel that's linked to above, you'll see that the introduction of new concession items is an annual tradition for the Grizzlies. Well we missed last season's item, and we're kicking ourselves for it. Why you ask? Check it out:


Baseball's Best Slider! It's a thin-sliced, steam-grilled, square-shaped burger topped with cheese and grilled onions that is then breaded and deep-fried. Sweet Jumping Jesus!!!

If any of you are looking for me, I'll be in Sauget, IL eating myself to death.

New Study Links Asian Vegetable and Oral Hygiene to Emesis

New Study Links Asian Vegetable and Oral Hygiene to Emesis


For Immediate Release
Cambridge, Massachusetts

A new study, just released by the F.B.D. Research Center, located in Cambridge, MA, has found a link between Asian vegetables, good oral hygiene practices, and involuntary emesis, more commonly known as vomiting.

According to head-researcher Jeffrey Phatone, excessive scrubbing of the oral cavity, particularly the skeletal muscles that make up the tongue, can cause vomiting in some subjects when proceeded by the ingestion of green, leafy vegetables, specifically bok choy. The exact cause of the vomiting is unknown, but researcher Phatone seems to have it narrowed down to one of two possibilities. “Either the subject has an allergy to the vegetable, or he’s just a dumb-ass who doesn’t know how to brush…and what are the chances of that?”

Researchers at the F.B.D. Research Center plan on continuing their study in the field of emesis later this month in upstate New York by examining the effect of mountain atmosphere on alcohol tolerance.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Opening day baby! I love spring.

Five Year Olds Suck!

29

The Buttery Reach-Around

No Words Necessary

Killed Him a Bear When He was Only...Five

"Oh...you killed a bear when you were five? Oh that's nice...no really, you should be proud of yourself.
I mean, I did it at three, but five is good too. Great job sport."

This story broke a couple of days ago. For those of you too lazy to click the link, the short version is that a five year old recently shot and killed a 445-pound bear while hunting with his grandfather. What makes this story a stand-out though, is that the kid is the great x 10 grandson, of Davy Crockett. You know, the "King of the Wild Frontier" Davy Crockett who "killed him a bear when he was only three." When I first saw this story, I thought it was pretty cool, because I was focused on the Davy Crockett part. Who doesn't remember that song. I certainly do...I even had my own coon-skin cap. I knew he was real person, but he almost took on a mythical status. Being related to him would almost be like being related to Paul Bunyan or something. So I thought that he's got a whole line of relatives out there was kind of cool.

But then I started to think about this story a little bit, and the absurdity of it smacked me in the head. It was a five-year-old that killed this bear, which means a FIVE YEAR OLD was out shooting a rifle. WHAT THE F#$K!?!?!

Listen...I get the whole argument behind hunting. I don't agree with it, but I understand the argument...especially the ones made by hunters who actually eat what they kill, but why in god's name does a five year old need to go hunting? Have you talked to any five-year-old kids lately? Chances are he or she thinks Dora the Explorer is a real person. Is that someone you'd like to have handling a deadly weapon?